First Letterman called Twitter a waste of time, and then he tried his hand at operating the microblogging site with his very own twitter machine. Last night, Letterman regaled audiences with a list he called, “Top Ten Signs You Spend Too Much Time on Twitter.”

As folks who actually do spend waaaaay too much time on Twitter (and Facebook, and Foursquare, and various and sundry video humor sites, and just basically hiding from the nourishing rays of the sun…), we’ve annotated his list below.

10. You miss your son’s soccer game waiting for Lady Gaga to post what she had for lunch.

There’s tons of mobile apps to rectify that issue, unless you’re still rocking a Samsung Juke (which I totally was until about a month ago).

9. You answer the phone: “Twello?”

Who… who would do that? Honestly, is this something people do?

8: You’ve spent millions developing iPhone waterproofing technology so you can Tweet in the shower.

Yeah, I think a bunch of people have beat you to that…

7. You haven’t touched your CB radio in months.


6. You ask yourself, “What would Jesus Tweet?”

Query: Answered.

5. You sleep tweet.

When Twitter is ‘a rockin’

4. No number 4 — writer on Twitter.

Obviously, said writer has not heard of @Anywhere.

3. You stopped paying attention to this list after the first 140 characters.

No, man, you had “Lady Gaga” in there, and that was totally a top trending topic last week.

2. Even Ashton Kutcher thinks you tweet too much.

Like Kutcher actually follows any of us common folk via Twitter. (BTW, I’m @Brenna_E if you wanna rectify that situation, dude — please tell me more about daylight savings time while showering me with inspirational quotes.)

1. You walked in on the landscaper retweeting your wife.

Yeah. This one doesn’t really make sense, but nice go at saucy, sexual innuendo.

Check out the Letterman vid below and let us know in the comments: What are the real top 10 signs you spend too much time on Twitter?

Tags: david letterman, television, twitter, video