My professors say my Intros and Conclusions are WEAK
and I always get a 95% on my essays 🙁
Can somebody read these and tell me if they are weak?
Intro:
The rising popularity of social networking sites are rivaling for consumption and putting strain on the business aspects of companies in the television and print industry. Internet usage is now cutting into the expenditures of traditional media, such as television and print. With young people spending increased amounts of time online, social networking sites are on the rise and are offering new outlets to marketers. Advertisers now attempt to market their television shows, movies, and print ads effectively through social media sites, such as Facebook and MySpace, in hopes of reaching younger audiences and as a result, have been successful.
Conclusion:
In conclusion, the facts have been presented to clarify the effective movement from traditional media to social media. Social networking sites have opened new doors for advertising in hopes of reaching the younger audience. As a result, they have gained the attention of the older audience. The once popular 20th century inventions are integrating into the Internet and the advertisers who are smart enough will keep following in order to make revenue. The weight of ad money has been slipping off the ship of traditional media and going to the web. Conventional marketers stuck in 20th century marketing standards would be lucky to even find a life boat.
Intro:
With the younger generation, spending increased amounts of time online, the rising popularity of social networking sites, such as Facebook and MySpace, is putting strain on the business aspects of companies that uses television and printed media for exposure. As a result, advertisers now attempt to market their television shows, movies, and print ads effectively through those social media sites in hopes of reaching younger audiences.
In conclusion, with the rise of the Internet, Social media has taken over the traditional media in attempts of reaching the younger generation. Social networking sites have opened new doors for advertising and grabbing the attention of the younger generation and as well as the older generations who are starting to use these sites. With the popularity of Facebook and MySpace, advertisers will be using these sites as a way to draw there consumers to their products instead of television and printed media. (No new information in the last paragraph and your own opinion)
I hope this helps, without the rest of the paper, i could add any more details. In your conclusion, sum up your paper and in your first focuse on your main points.